Music in You

I don't know about you, but you turn the music up loud and I'm instantly lost in the music. It doesn't really matter too much what I am listening too. The beat. The words. The soul of the song. Creates memories, helps you remember things, and helps your heart heal when you never thought anything could.

Music is grounding. At least for my soul. I have to listen. I have to feel every note and every word. You might as well dance any chance you get because this is one life of ours.

I keep seeing so much heartache and turmoil. Many people lose their way. It saddens me. I get in those lost situations....but then I find my music. I cry out whatever I need to, I smile for whatever I need to, and scream whenever I need to.

There is a lot of music I personally don't care for, but I wouldn't ever tell someone that the music they listen to, sucks. It may mean something to them. Don't ever take away that feeling from them. You might as well punch them in the face and break their nose.

I'm definitely also sick of hearing how schools are getting rid of music programs. Whether its math or science, you can teach music to help someone.......help them, move them, guide them. Just because a kiddo may not understand or read music, they hear and feel it and it affects them.

Just wanted to get that out while I sit hear and listen to music. Relaxing...contemplating.... thinking. 

18 years marks today

I posted our story before. The one that accounts all from the beginning. I go back a lot a read it over and over again. Not trying to be a sappy girl or anything or say my story of my heart is better than any Cinderella story out there. It definitely isn't. Its my story. The largest part of my life occurred or should I say all started when my heart was full of undeniable love for my husband 18 years ago today.

Our love has been through many battlefields, roller coasters and the occasional dead end roads. During those hardships and over coming many of them made at least my heart fuller. Nothing can challenge it anymore. If you want to hear it all from the beginning, check out this blog: http://mietzmo.blogspot.com/2011/02/once-upon-time.html

Marriage is one thing, and love is completely different. Love is a loyalty sworn, marriage is a document. I recently got a tattoo with a quote I heard during a really difficult time in my life. It was a one of those moments that created a reset for me. A reset to think about everything. The past, the present, and the future. Not just a moment defining me anymore. I needed everything to define me in order to make sense on where I was.

The full quote I got permanently placed on my left forearm reads: "Come what may I won't abandon you or leave you behind because love is a loyalty sworn not a burning for a moment."

Not trying to be bad ass or cool. I needed a definition to explain my life and heart and I found one. Every word and every element of this quote aka lyric from a song from a band called Thrice; song titled "The weight", defined everything for me when I was so lost. Because I understand that nothing is ever perfect, why not create a reminder?? A permanent one. So that is what I did. Now if I can fix the issue of where my keys are then we will be all good. :) 

So today marks 18 years with my husband, Robert. Been through Hell and back, Heaven and back and everything in between and here we are today still able to not only say the words I love you, but really mean every letter, every syllable in every word. 

So cheers to you babe! I love you! 

I can't even think of a title........

You live and learn from your mistakes and move forward. Even when triggers are pointed right at you, you keep moving to not have any more interruptions. All this time, I've been trying and trying......and bang. I get hit. Hit so hard I can't breathe and I can't think. I'm full of so much anger I think I may even explode at some point. For the past I don't know how many years, I have thought everything to be my fault. My mistakes. My problems that I need to fix. Now we are all human so there is still a lot I personally have to work on, but now knowing....and now having evidence to solidify I have been self tormented and belittle by others for so long based on all lies. I don't even know what else to say about all that then what I just said.

Maybe I'm just not to be happy. Not allowed to feel "okay" in my own skin, heart, and soul. Then I also think that all these people that have done me wrong in more ways than one well........they aren't being punished. Why are their sins acceptable? Forgivable or Overlooked?

I will end this rant with a following: Never trust a person that has let you down more than twice. Once was a warning, twice is a lesson, and anything more than that is just taking advantage of you.