Someone told me the other day that they would never have the courage to say some of the things that I do say let alone share. They don't have the courage to do it.
This kind of thrown me back a little bit. I don't want this persona of that I am the girl that doesn't give a shit about what people think of me. I unfortunately am all about what people think of me and trying to stay in the good gracious of that. Every time I leak out something personal, I do have a huge hesitation to hit the publish button. I freak out to be more specific. I hate to be misinterpreted and I don't want others to frown on me because our viewpoints are different. I love seeing how many times someone reads anything I wrote but then again there is a pit in my stomach freaking out to see the numbers go up. The numbers mean that there is one more person that has a story in their head of me and not knowing what to do with it.
I'm getting better though. Mostly because I don't think there really isn't that much for secretiveness about me out there. I set it up that way though. I can't go and say I am a real genuine person and then sugar coat my life now can I? ;) Life is hard and my blogging is my reality of it.
I love that I have readers and I love that my stories have helped others too. I'm not going to copy and paste all the private emails I have gotten over the past few months. It has though helped knowing that here I was scared to hit a button to share when someone else out there was going through what I was and needed to know they weren't alone. I hate that they gone through what I did but knowing I was helping them made my pain not so bad anymore.
Speaking of pain, I'm getting over it. Just taking each day at a time. I'm medication free and my drive for success has no speed limit. I'm working on me in more ways then one and feeling good about it. Awesome things are happening for me but I'm still kinda stuck in a slum of wanting to have everything fixed right now and it not happening. It sucks but I really think just hanging in there for at least a year, I will find myself the wait worth it.
Those of you that are apart of my Facebook got some of the inside scoop on what I'm thinking for as my future. I'm looking at joining the military. Right now, I don't have the support I need........but I'm working on it. I just gotta find a way to be taken more seriously. I'll think of something eventually. Right now, I got nothing.
What I do though have is some pretty interesting blogs coming your way.. Remember the blog on the Queef? Haha...well I have more kinda up that alley going to be published. Nothing like taking awkward and non talked about conversations and making them my own. ;)
So that its for now. Just a quick update. This girl needs some sleep. I'll be blogging your way soon!
This kind of thrown me back a little bit. I don't want this persona of that I am the girl that doesn't give a shit about what people think of me. I unfortunately am all about what people think of me and trying to stay in the good gracious of that. Every time I leak out something personal, I do have a huge hesitation to hit the publish button. I freak out to be more specific. I hate to be misinterpreted and I don't want others to frown on me because our viewpoints are different. I love seeing how many times someone reads anything I wrote but then again there is a pit in my stomach freaking out to see the numbers go up. The numbers mean that there is one more person that has a story in their head of me and not knowing what to do with it.
I'm getting better though. Mostly because I don't think there really isn't that much for secretiveness about me out there. I set it up that way though. I can't go and say I am a real genuine person and then sugar coat my life now can I? ;) Life is hard and my blogging is my reality of it.
I love that I have readers and I love that my stories have helped others too. I'm not going to copy and paste all the private emails I have gotten over the past few months. It has though helped knowing that here I was scared to hit a button to share when someone else out there was going through what I was and needed to know they weren't alone. I hate that they gone through what I did but knowing I was helping them made my pain not so bad anymore.
Speaking of pain, I'm getting over it. Just taking each day at a time. I'm medication free and my drive for success has no speed limit. I'm working on me in more ways then one and feeling good about it. Awesome things are happening for me but I'm still kinda stuck in a slum of wanting to have everything fixed right now and it not happening. It sucks but I really think just hanging in there for at least a year, I will find myself the wait worth it.
Those of you that are apart of my Facebook got some of the inside scoop on what I'm thinking for as my future. I'm looking at joining the military. Right now, I don't have the support I need........but I'm working on it. I just gotta find a way to be taken more seriously. I'll think of something eventually. Right now, I got nothing.
What I do though have is some pretty interesting blogs coming your way.. Remember the blog on the Queef? Haha...well I have more kinda up that alley going to be published. Nothing like taking awkward and non talked about conversations and making them my own. ;)
So that its for now. Just a quick update. This girl needs some sleep. I'll be blogging your way soon!
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